Ode to love

I was going through some of my old writing and came across this jolly little poem that I remeber writing a few years ago whilst sat in wandsworth park in the brilliant sunshine supposedly quite happy with life.

Colour me black, not yellow, or red.
Inside I'm burnt, my soul is dead.

Dismiss my smile, for it's full of deciet,
Rattling pathetically, my heart beats it's last beat.

I see before me in rows of hundreds,
Spirits deceased, the living out-numbered.

The want of lust is a given pain,
endured through a life lived in vain.

To stop wanting is torture, so i succumbed,
Now bleeding and broken, my body is numbed.

Forget that laugh, it was delivered in jest,
Covering the spears that penetrate my chest.
Molten lava pumps from my heart

...It's better to stop, before you start.

Joyfull eh?

Always opt for a short goodbye

Last night I met up with a friend who I haven't seen in 2 1/2 years. Skinny (I say that with 100% affection - she is gorgeous!) moved to Australia once we'd left school after falling in love with an Aussie on her '6 month' visit. Since then I have only seen her twice although we keep in touch via the occasional e-mail. Anyway, Skinny and I caught up over drinks before she flew back to Melbourne and it was so lovely. You know you have those friends that no matter how long it's been since you last saw them, it feels like just yesterday you were prancing around your bedroom, singing along to Mariah Carey's Heartbreaker, or sketching your Friday night outfit in the back of your science book, well Skinny is one of those friends. I absolutely loved her to death and as she left the tube home to go to Heathrow I made sure I told her that I still do love her. It almost seemed a bit too heavy as we hugged goodbye quickly on the tube but I believe that it's important to let the people that you love know that, especially when you don't know when you'll be seeing them again. It kind of overwhelmed me, and as the door alert on the tube beeped and the doors slid shut I couldn't stop the tears in my eyes brimming over as she waved goodbye on the platform.

I've never been good at goodbyes.

Love is...

A picture I took of a tree in Tivoli, Copenhagen that reminds me of love


I was reading an article in The Guardian today about songs that remind you of your first love. It made me think of my first love, the realisation I came to that first doesn't mean last and the love that you see and feel every day.

Yesterday my friend, Bo's, boyfriend returned from his first tour of Afghan. They are now spending an idyllic few days together and after being with her through his departure, his absence and his imminent return I was caught up in the excitement and anticipation of his arrival home which inspired me to jot down what love is to me.

Love is....

Not only appreciating someone, but appreciating the person they make you

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A fry up and the paper in bed on a Sunday morning

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The open prospect of the future

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The compromise between being who you are and also fitting together

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Learning someone and delighting in discovering new things about them, no matter how small

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Being brave
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Having someone who will open the door when you slam it shut
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Being proud of someone else's achievements
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Daring to be stupidly romantic
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A risk that makes you feel safe

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The best freebie in the world
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Complete