The loot

6 doors down from my wonderful house on Henslowe Road, about 30 steps past the baywatch car (seriously), there has been a pair of GHD hair straighteners, a hairdryer and a pair of (quite nice) flip flops sat on the wall for about 3 days now. Every time I walk past, I am faced with a dilemma. Surely these items no longer work….or do they…….? For 3 days now I’ve slowed my pace as I stroll up my road on my way to and from work wondering if I should take said items (I’d probably leave the flip flops, to be honest. Who knows where those feet have been and I’m not that big a fan of feet at the best of times) to test them to see if they still work. Not that I need any of said items. I have a perfectly decent pair of GHD straighteners myself and I also have a perfectly decent hairdryer, it’s just that the curiosity is killing me! I also think I could probably sell the GHD’s on ebay; people will buy anything. My colleague just bought a box of buttons for £7 from ebay. Why? I have no idea. But who needs a box of assorted buttons? Unless you’re very rough in getting dressed or undressed from your cardies….ooo…I should probably move on, not sure I want to continue down that line of thought.

I’ve even started thinking about the loot before I’m within sight or range of the loot, whilst sitting on the train home. Why not just take them? Well, the moment I think I’m going to do just that (person who lives 6 doors down clearly doesn’t want these items anymore, or if she does and has forgotten about them then that is gross neglect and she has forfeited her right to own them), I have visions of an angry Kiwi or Aussie (London is full of them) storming out the house and chopping my right hand off to teach me a lesson in right and wrong. Theft definitely being wrong. But more then the horror at the thought of loosing my right hand, my pride just will not let me pick up someone else’s leftovers. Imagine if another resident of Henslowe Road witnessed my swag? The way Chinese whispers work I’d probably end up forever being known as “that weird girl at no. 5 who rifles through people’s bins for food scraps”. Not cool. Who would have thought that I’d ever be a victim of keeping up with the Jones’?

So, I have no doubt that I will encounter a pair of GHD hair straighteners, a hair dryer and a (quite nice) pair of flip-flops on my journey home today. Maybe I’ll throw caution to the wind and pick them up in defiance of my 3 day reasoning. Or maybe I won’t.